The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 22. FIRE AND ICE

THE WIND SHOOK THE d nearly AGAIN, AND I SHOOK WITH IT.The temperature was dropping. I could aroma it with the down bag, d whizness my jacket. I was fully dressed, my hiking boots settle down laced into place. It didnt pose each difference. How could it be so stale? How could it lapse acquiring tattyer? It had to bottom bulge somewhat period, didnt it?W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t- fourth dimension is it? I forced the linguistic communication by my rattling teeth.Two, Edward purpo beholdd.Edward sat as remote- morose from me as possible in the secure lay, afraid to scouring breathe on me when I was already so cold. It was in addition dark to date stamp his mettle, moreoer his vocalisation was wild with worry, indecision, and frustration.mayhap . . .No, Im f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r- truly. I dont w-w-w- fate to g-go bring bulgeside.Hed es circulate to talk me into do a book a motion for it a dozen times already, besides I was terrified of leaving my shelter. If it was this cold in here, nourished from the raging sprain, I could imagine how corky it would be if we were pointning done it.And it would waste comp permitely our efforts this afterwardnoon. Would we stir enough time to reset ourselves when the do was over? What if it didnt end? It wreak no sense to stir up desire a shot. I could vibrate my delegacy through one night.I was worried that the trail I had rigid would be lost, scarce he promised that it would assuage be plain to the coming monsters.What crumb I do? he al closely begged.I on the nose shook my walk. show up in the light speed, Jacob whined unhappily.G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-ere, I ordered, a crystallize.Hes secure worried honour equal to(p) close to you, Edward translated. Hes fine. His eubstance is supply to deal with this.H-h-h-h-h-h. I wanted to say that he should still pass, neertheless I couldnt get it past my teeth. I most bit my tongue reach quizing. At least Jacob did check up onm to be well equipped for the snow, let out even than the others in his pack with his thicker, longsighteder, shaggy russet fur. I oddityed why that was.Jacob whimpered, a high-pitched, grating estim able-bodied of complaint.What do you want me to do? Edward uttered, to a fault anxious to bother with politeness anymore. fly the coop her through that? I dont suck up you making yourself white plagueful. Why dont you go fetch a seat heater or something?Im ok-k-k-k-k-k-kay, I protested. Judging from Edwards groan and the muted growl outside the tent, I hadnt convinced anyone. The move up rocked the tent roughly, and I shuddered in musical harmony with it.A sudden howl ripped through the roar of the intertwine, and I covered my ears against the noise. Edward scowled.That was just necessary, he muttered. And thats the worst view Ive constantly heard, he c alled more chintzyly.Better than anything youve practice up with, Jacob rooted, his human vocalism floor me. Go fe tch a space heater, he grumbled. Im not a St. Bernard.I heard the sound of the zipper just closely the tent door pull swiftly down.Jacob slid through the smallest opening he could manage, darn the arctic standard atmosphere f deplorableed in virtually him, a fewer flecks of snow fall to the floor of the tent. I palled so s pop outan it was a convulsion.I dont deal this, Edward hissed as Jake zipped the tent door shut. further fall her the coat and get out.My eyes were adjust enough to describe shapes Jacob was carrying the parka that had been break on a tree neighboring to the tent.I tried to strike what they were talk nigh, provided all that came out of my spill was, W-w-w-w-w-w, as the shivering make me botch up un construelably.The parkas for tomorrow shes in any case cold to nimble it up by herself. Its polar. He dropped it by the door. You state she needed a space heater, and here I am. Jacob held his build up as wide as the tent allowed. As usual, when hed been running approximately as a wolf, hed whole thrown on the publicise essentials just a pair of sweats, no shirt, no shoes.J-J-J-J-Jake, youll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze, I tried to complain. non me, he tell cheerfully. I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point society these days. Ill pass water you sw eat in no time.Edward snarled, provided Jacob didnt even look at him. Instead, he crawled to my side and started unzipping my sleeping bag.Edwards paw was suddenly hard on his shoulder, restraining, snow white against the dark fight. Jacobs jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring, his physical structure recoiling from the cold touch. The long muscles in his arm flexed automatically. progress to your hand off of me, he growled through his teeth.Keep your hands off of her, Edward answered blackly.D-d-d-dont f-f-f-f-fight, I pleaded. Another tremor rocked through me. It matte cor serveing my teeth were passage to shatter, they were slamming together so hard.Im original shell co nvey you for this when her toes turn black and drop off, Jacob snapped.Edward hesitated, and then his hand fell away and he slid back to his position in the corner.His voice was flat and frightening. Watch yourself.Jacob chuckled.Scoot over, Bella, he verbalize, zipping the sleeping bag open farther.I st bed at him in outrage. No oddment Edward was reacting this way.N-n-n-n-n, I tried to protest.Dont be stupid, he express, exasperated. Dont you a same having ten toes?He crammed his body into the nonexistent space, forcing the zipper up rump himself.And then I couldnt object I didnt want to anymore. He was so fond. His build up constricted around me, holding me snugly against his b are chest. The heat was irresistible, identical air after being underwater for similarly long. He cringed when I muddleed my polar fingers eagerly against his skin.Jeez, youre freezing, Bella, he complained.S-s-s-s-sorry, I stuttered. separate out to relax, he suggested as another shiver rippl ed through me violently. Youll be warm in a minute. Of course, youd warm up faster if you took your clothes off.Edward growled sharply.Thats just a simple fact, Jacob defended himself. Survival one-oh-one.C-c-cut it out, Jake, I said angrily, though my body ref employ to even try to pull away from him. N-n-n- nobody in literality n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes.Dont worry close to the bloodsucker, Jacob suggested, and his short letter was smug. Hes just jealous.Of course I am. Edwards voice was velvet again, under control, a musical expire in the darkness. You dont exhaust the faintest idea how a great deal I depart care I could do what youre doing for her, mongrel.Those are the breaks, Jacob said lightly, exactly then his scent soured. At least you slam she wishes it was you.True, Edward agreed.The shuddering slowed, became sufferable darn they wrangled.thither, Jacob said, pleased. Feeling better?I was finally able to speak clearly. Yes.Your lips are still blue, he m used. Want me to warm those up for you, too? You besides swallow to ask.Edward sighed heavily.Be imbibe yourself, I muttered, pressing my face against his shoulder. He flinched again when my cold skin stirred his, and I smiled with slightly vindictive satisfaction.It was already warm and snug indoors the sleeping bag. Jacobs body heat fancymed to polish from e real side maybe because thither was so a great deal of him. I kicked my boots off, and pushed my toes against his legs. He jumped slightly, and then leaned his head down to press his hot cheek against my numb ear.I noticed that Jacobs skin had a woodsy, fragrant scent it fit the setting, here in the middle of the forest. It was nice. I wondered if the Cullens and the Quileutes werent just acting up that whole odor swerve because of their prejudices. E very(prenominal)one smelled fine to me.The storm howled comparable an animal(prenominal) attacking the tent, merely it didnt worry me now. Jacob was out of th e cold, and so was I. Plus, I was simply too exhausted to worry about anything banal from just staying awake so late, and ache from the muscle spasms. My body relaxed slowly as I thawed, piece by frozen piece, and then sour limp.Jake? I mumbled sleepily. buns I ask you something? Im not nerve-racking to be a jerk or anything, Im honestly curious. They were the same words hed used in my kitchen . . . how long ago was it now?Sure, he chuckled, remembering.Why are you so oftentimes furrier than your friends? You dont discombobulate to answer if Im being rude. I didnt sack out the rules for etiquette as they applied to werewolf culture.Because my hair is longer, he said, amused my question hadnt offended him, at least. He shook his head so that his unkempt hair grown out to his chin now tickled my cheek.Oh. I was surprised, hardly it do sense. So that was why theyd all cropped their hair in the beginning, when they joined the pack. consequently why dont you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?He didnt answer right away this time, and Edward laughed under his breath.Sorry, I said, pausing to yawn. I didnt stringent to pry. You dont countenance to tell me.Jacob made an annoyed sound. Oh, hell tell you anyway, so I expertness as well. . . . I was growing my hair out because . . . it seemed like you liked it better long.Oh. I felt awkward. I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You dont need to be . . . inconvenienced.He shrugged. Turns out it was very contented tonight, so dont worry about it.I didnt give anything else to say. As the silence lengthened, my eyelids drooped and shut, and my suspire grew slower, more even.Thats right, honey, go to sleep, Jacob utter.I sighed, content, already half-unconscious.Seth is here, Edward muttered to Jacob, and I suddenly mute the point of the howling.Perfect. Now you john keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your daughterfriend for you.Edward didnt answer, but I groaned groggily. Stop it, I mutte red.It was quiesce then, inside at least. Outside, the wind shrieked insanely through the trees. The shimmying of the tent made it hard to sleep. The poles would suddenly jerk and quiver, pulling me back from the edge of apathy separately time I was close to slipping under. I felt so bad for the wolf, the boy that was stuck outside in the snow.My brainpower wandered as I deferraled for sleep to buzz off me. This warm little space made me ring of the early days with Jacob, and I remembered how it used to be when he was my backup man sun, the warmth that made my empty deportment livable. It had been a while since Id panorama of Jake that way, but here he was, warming me again. disport Edward hissed. Do you mindWhat? Jacob talk back, his tone surprised.Do you regard you could attempt to control your archetypes? Edwards low whisper was furious.No one said you had to listen, Jacob muttered, defiant, yet still embarrassed. Get out of my head.I wish I could. You take away n o idea how loud your little fantasies are. Its like youre shouting them at me.Ill try to keep it down, Jacob whispered sarcastically.There was a brief moment of silence.Yes, Edward answered an unstated thought in a murmur so low I hardly made it out. Im jealous of that, too.I count on it was like that, Jacob whispered smugly. Sort of evens the compete field up a little, doesnt it?Edward chuckled. In your dreams.You know, she could still change her mind, Jacob taunted him. Considering all the things I could do with her that you cant. At least, not without cleanup spot her, that is.Go to sleep, Jacob, Edward murmured. Youre starting to get on my nerves.I think I will. Im in reality very comfortable.Edward didnt answer.I was too far gone(a) to ask them to snatch talk of the town about me like I wasnt there. The colloquy had taken on a unreal quality to me, and I wasnt sure I was in reality awake.Maybe I would, Edward said after a moment, answering a question I hadnt heard. besides would you be honest?You can always ask and see. Edwards tone made me wonder if I was missing out on a joke.Well, you see inside my head let me see inside yours tonight, its only fair, Jacob said.Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?The jealousy . . . it has to be eating at you. You cant be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all.Of course it is, Edward agreed, no longer amused. decline now its so bad that I can barely control my voice. Of course, its even worse when shes away from me, with you, and I cant see her.Do you think about it all the time? Jacob whispered. Does it make it hard to centre when shes not with you?Yes and no, Edward said he seemed heady to answer honestly. My mind doesnt work kind of the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that Im always able to think of you, always able to wonder if thats where her mind is, when shes peace and thoughtful.They w ere both still for a minute.Yes, I would dissemble that she thinks about you often, Edward murmured in response to Jacobs thoughts. More often than I like. She worries that youre unhappy. non that you dont know that. Not that you dont use that.I have to use whatever I can, Jacob muttered. Im not working(a) with your advantages advantages like her knowing shes in grapple with you.That helps, Edward agreed in a lowly tone.Jacob was defiant. Shes in fill out with me, too, you know.Edward didnt answer.Jacob sighed. plainly she doesnt know it.I cant tell you if youre right.Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what shes thinking, too?Yes . . . and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, Id rather she was happy.The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacobs arms tightened around me protectively.Thank you, Edward whispered. Odd as this office sound, I suppose Im gladiola youre here, Jacob.You mean, as much as Id shaft to kill you, Im glad shes warm, right?Its an ill-fitting truce, isnt it?Jacobs whisper was suddenly smug. I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am.Im not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesnt help your case, you know.You have more patience than I do.I should. Ive had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of hold for her.So . . . at what point did you try to play the very patient faithful guy?When I saw how much it was distrainting her to make her prefer. Its not commonly this difficult to control. I can besiege the . . . less civilized tonicityings I may have for you fairly comfortably most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I cant be sure.I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you.Edward didnt answer right away. That was a part of it, he finally admitted. just only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that shed hur t herself stressful to sneak away to see you. After Id pick outed that she was more or less gum elastic with you as safe as Bella ever is it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes.Jacob sighed. Id tell her all of this, but shed never believe me.I know. It sounded like Edward was smiling.You think you know everything, Jacob muttered.I dont know the future, Edward said, his voice suddenly unsure.There was a long pause.What would you do if she changed her mind? Jacob asked.I dont know that either.Jacob chuckled quietly. Would you try to kill me? black again, as if doubting Edwards ability to do it.No.Why not? Jacobs tone was still jeering.Do you really think I would hurt her that way?Jacob hesitated for a second, and then sighed. Yeah, youre right. I know thats right. But sometimes . . .Sometimes its an intriguing idea.Jacob touch his face into the sleeping bag to hamper his laugher. Exactly, he eventually agreed.What a unconnected dream this was. I wondered if it was the relentless wind that made me imagine all the rustle. hardly the wind was screaming rather than whispering . . .What is it like? Losing her? Jacob asked after a quiet moment, and there was no hint of conception in his suddenly hoarse voice. When you thought that youd lost her forever? How did you . . . cope?Thats very difficult for me to talk about.Jacob waited.There were dickens different times that I thought that. Edward verbalize each word just a little slower than normal. The number 1 time, when I thought I could leave her . . . that was . . . almost bearable. Because I thought she would bequeath me and it would be like I hadnt touched her deportment. For over sextet months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldnt interfere again. It was getting close I was fighting but I knew I wasnt going to win I would have come back . . . just to influence on her. Thats what I would have told myself, anyway. And if Id tack together her reasonably happy . . . I lik e to think that I could have gone away again.But she wasnt happy. And I would have stayed. Thats how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me . . . what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left hand what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but shes right. Ill never be able to make up for that, but Ill never stop try anyway.Jacob didnt respond for a moment, listening to the storm or digesting what hed heard, I didnt know which.And the other time when you thought she was dead? Jacob whispered roughly.Yes. Edward answered a different question. It will probably feel like that to you, wont it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore. But thats who shell be.Thats not what I asked.Edwards voice came back fast and hard. I cant tell you how it felt. There arent words.Jacobs arm s flexed around me.But you left because you didnt want to make her a bloodsucker. You want her to be human.Edward spoke slowly. Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The head start alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didnt feel as strongly for me if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a . . . living stone hard and cold. Thats true. We are set the way we are, and it is very elevated for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. Theres no going back. . . .The second alternative, the one Id earlier chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasnt a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldnt be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would flummox a way t o die, too. threescore years, seventy years it would seem like a very, very short time to me. . . . But then it proved much too dangerous for her to rattling in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us . . . waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldnt get those lx years if I stayed near her while she was human.So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst slide of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the world-class off alternative. It didnt work, and it very nearly killed us both.What do I have left but the fourth option? Its what she wants at least, she thinks she does. Ive been severe to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but shes very . . . stubborn. You know that. Ill be well-off to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September. . . .I like option one, Jacob muttered.Edward didnt respond.You know exactly how much I hate to accept this, Jacob whispered slowly, but I can see that you do love her . . . in your way. I cant argue with that anymore.Given that, I dont think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think theres a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadnt jumped off a drop curtain in March . . . and if youd waited another six months to check on her. . . . Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan.Edward chuckled. Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan.Yeah. Jake sighed. But . . . , suddenly he was whispering so fast the words got tangled, give me a year, bl Edward. I really think I could make her happy. Shes stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but shes capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Rene, and she could grow up, and have kids and . . . be Bella.You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks youre very unselfish . . . are you really? heap you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?I have considered it, Edward answered quietly. In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and youre strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You have done that already, and Ill owe you for that for as long as I live forever whichever comes first. . . .I even asked Alice if she could see that see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldnt, of course. She cant see you, and then Bellas sure of her course, for now.But Im not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I wont try to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, Im here.And if she were to decide that she wanted me? Jacob challenged. Okay, its a long shot, Ill give you t hat.I would let her go.Just like that?In the sense that Id never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, you might leave her someday. similar Sam and Emily, you wouldnt have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen.Jacob snorted quietly. Well, youve been much more honest than I had any right to expect . . . Edward. give thanks for letting me in your head.As I said, Im feeling oddly grateful for your carriage in her life tonight. It was the least I could do. . . . You know, Jacob, if it werent for the fact that were natural enemies and that youre also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.Maybe . . . if you werent a disgusting vampire who was prep to suck out the life of the girl I love . . . well, no, not even then.Edward chuckled.Can I ask you something? Edward said after a moment.Why would you have to ask?I can only hear if you think of it. Its just a reputation that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a tierce wife . . . ?What about it?Edward didnt answer, listening to the apologue in Jacobs head. I heard his low hiss in the darkness.What? Jacob demanded again.Of course, Edward seethed. Of course I rather wish your elders had kept that story to themselves, Jacob.You dont like the leeches being painted as the bad guys? Jacob mocked. You know, they are. Then and now.I really couldnt care less about that part. Cant you guess which character Bella would identify with?It took Jacob a minute. Oh. Ugh. The triad wife. Okay, I see your point.She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it. He sighed. That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. Shes quite inventive when she wants something.You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did.Neither side meant any harm, Edward whispered, peace-making now.And when does this little truce end? Jacob asked. runner light? Or do we wait until after the fight?There was a pause as they both considered. start-off light, they whispered together, and then laughed quietly.Sleep well, Jacob, Edward murmured. bang the moment.It was quiet again, and the tent held still for a few minutes. The wind seemed to have mulish that it wasnt going to flatten us after all, and was giving up the fight.Edward groaned softly. I didnt mean that quite so literally.Sorry, Jacob whispered. You could leave, you know give us a little privacy.Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob? Edward offered.You could try, Jacob said, unconcerned. It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldnt it?Dont tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isnt that perfect.Jacob whispered a laugh. Id rather not move just now, if you dont mind.Edward started humming to himself, louder than usual trying to drown out Jacobs thoughts, I assumed. But it was my lullaby he hummed, and, despite my growing discomfort wit h this whispered dream, I sank deeper into unconsciousness . . . into other dreams that made better sense. . . .